YOUR NEWSPAPER VIA TELEVISION

Good evening, good readers.  This is your pen pal and newspaper columnist, Cholly Rollie, broadcasting from Sunny Florida and bringing you the top newspaper stories via television.

But first, a word from our sponsor, Toilet Tissue...

Today the news isn't good, which is pretty much why it is news.  You've heard before that “No News is Good News” and “Good News is Worse.” We'll hear what Washington has to say about that in just a minute, but first here's a few words from your local station…

In other developments around the country, and around the world, we have a statement from China.  What they are saying is in English, not Chinese, and it's troublesome.  We'll have that report right after these brief messages from our sponsors...

         

China and Yahoo have announced an earthshaking partnership to explain the meaning of life. Details at the top of the hour following a commercial...

Those of you who are newspaper readers will be pleased to know you are now television viewers at no out of pocket cost.  Email us and tell us how you enjoy our new broadcast “Your Newspaper Via Television.” No salesman will call. Full details after a short commercial break...

I'm Cholly Rollie back again for you Readers-Now-Viewers, with an important quiz/question for you:  Should the government fund free television sets to broadcast this free newspaper on television?  If so, who or what should pay for it? By A.) increasing the already outrageous national debt? Or, B.) by passing on this cost as part of the pensions, medical and dental coverage, insurance and other perks provided from here to eternity for members of Congress? We'll give you our thoughts on this as well as our cover story on USING THE F word following a short commercial break...

Whoops! I see we are out of time for this edition of Your Newspaper Via Television broadcast.  Be sure to tune in tomorrow so you won't miss our commercials...Good Night!