Thursday, January 25, 2018

THE LAST MYSTERY

We are living in a time where many of our idols have fallen to scandal or otherwise. Secrets have been exposed one by one. Is there anything left to tantalize the public? I have a candidate, namely, a woman's pocketbook.

Pocketbooks come in an endless parade of colors, fabrics, sizes and so forth.  This is good because the women carrying them vary as well. My wife is a relatively small woman. While she is perfect in every other way, she is demanding when selecting a personal pocketbook and is protective of same.

Nevertheless one day she unexpectedly grabbed her pocketbook, marched over to the dining room table and dumped it all out. This moment of surprise caught my attention for it promised at least part of the pocketbook mystery would be solved. What is actually in one of those things?

The Answer is EVERYTHING. The content was amazing and included precautions for just about any eventuality.

Men, tread carefully if you want to joke about pocketbooks. Driving along recently I felt the car edging to the right. I thought we were getting a flat tire and pulled over. I asked: “Do you have a spare tire in your pocketbook?” The tire turned out to be okay but the joke was dangerously flat.

When off for an evening social, men are used to the request “please carry my lipstick in your pocket.” Loading up on the full content of a pocketbook, however, is beyond the pale. If you were on an African safari with a faithful gun-bearer a step behind, you could give him the pocketbook to carry along with that gun of all guns, the irreplaceable William Evans Sidelock 500 Nitro Express. 

But sorry, no guns allowed in the ballroom.

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