ME and HIM

Returning to drawing on cave walls may well be the best way for us to communicate with each other. Since we have made such gigantic strides in brutalizing the English language in just about every other forum, it certainly can't hurt.

There was a time in the Good Ole USA that “reading, writing and arithmetic” were cornerstones of our basic education.  But that was long ago and far away. Nowadays some people with college degrees are just as likely to butcher a sentence as little boys and girls in the first grade of elementary school.  Allow me a bit of leeway here, dear reader. In my own family struggles abound. Some of us are successful in meeting these challenges, some not so.

Just short years ago, my middle daughter mastered consistent use of “y'know”. She used it before, after, and sometimes in the middle of sentences. At some point she abruptly abandoned the field leaving it to Chris Evert (aka” Chrissie”) to continue as undisputed champion in the use of this non-word. One of my sons-in-law cringes at the use of “at” at the end of a sentence, as in “where's it at?”. This leads to all hands using it at every opportunity to test the level of his blood pressure.                

When I was a teenager many of us living in the leafy suburbs of Philadelphia attended Lower Merion High School which was, and still is, a highly regarded institution of secondary education.  Within those hallowed halls diminutive Mrs. Margaret Hay ruled English language territory with a firm hand.  Mrs. Hay has since ascended to the Great Schoolhouse in the Sky but her influence rolls along through the loyalty of her disciples.  My pal David is one such.  He was the fiercely competitive captain of the football team. Nowadays he guards the flame of proper English in the same passionate way.  Whenever or wherever friend or foe misspeaks, David quickly pounces, invoking the battle cry “Remember Mrs. Hay”! It is intimidating and we always promise to reform.

None of us is grammar-proper all the time.  When I struggle with these periodic communiques to you, I can turn to my eldest daughter who is an editor.  Most times she is an effective life preserver.

Another bump on the English Highway is the misuse of  the Plural versus the Possessive.  With the holidays coming on, you might as well gird your loins, or whatever, to face versions of “Happy Holidays from your friends the Smith's” in place of “Happy Holidays from your friends the Smiths.”

Still, it may be the thought that counts.......

How I Became a Jewish Mother

If you think of Mel Brooks and his routines about “Jewish Mothers”, you'll get the picture in a heartbeat. Mistresses of the guilt trip, JMs are capable of putting sons (especially) and daughters into mental dungeons for supposedly failing to appreciate a Mother's Love. Several Jewish mothers are among my intimate friends. But they are far afield from the portrait that Brooks paints of their concern about every single thing that touches the lives of their offspring. Along with large dollops of “don't worry about me, your mother, it's YOU that I cry over.”

Skipping from Ireland to Israel is not an easy trip but I did it recently while worrying about our brand new great-granddaughter, Huntley, who caught a cold. She is a Manhattanite, albeit a very young version of that species, and as yet unaware of Bloomingdale's, Grand Central and Central Park. Huntley caught a cold somewhere, we suspect from her wonderful working mother who insisted on balancing business and imminent delivery right up to the moment when  contractions kicked in. (The courage of young women who manage such feats is surely the topic for another column, but for the moment Baby Huntley is the focus.)

Many a parent or grandparent takes comfort in the “out of sight, out of mind” philosophy – as in what you don't see or know allows you to stay in a sea of serenity. Not so for me in Florida.  I worry about every one of these 1358 miles between our house and Huntley's crib. My Wasp wife, no Shamrock she, as well as the Jewish (and all other) mothers in our gang, take a pragmatic view of situations generally. And specifically in the case of my attempts to micro-manage health concerns when her mother and grandmother are right there in the NYC scene watching Huntley like the two Mother Hens they are. Ah, well. Such is life.

I also wondered if Mel Brooks has a routine centered on the plight of males who are parents, grandparents, great-grandparents whose sole role in the miracle of birth seems to be limited to one-liners during Happy Hour.

BYE BYE TO 2016

Guys, it's time for the compulsory year-end review.  Buckle up.

                        

The big story of course is Donald Trump.  Which is pretty much the way he would like it.

To a point that is. Almost all of us, I suspect, are much more interested in what goes on in our immediate worlds. Joan and I have a brand new great-granddaughter, Huntley Alden. She is immeasurably more important to us than Mr. Trump. You can throw in Hillary and Bill too. I like Melania Trump. Not just because she is a gorgeous lady, although she is that, but because she is forthright and deserves a break from all of us. Where is it written that Melania should not be “acceptable” because she posed near-naked, or naked, during her modeling days? As I pass the mirror after showering even a casual peek assures me that I should call 911.

There is a larger lesson here.  Much of what goes on is beyond our control. Absolutely.  The network news and the newspapers guarantee heartburn. Why torture ourselves? Take it all in once and then move on to those positive things in life – like children, grandchildren, and if you are really lucky, great-grandchildren. By the way, these young ones don't have to be your own – just enjoy the miracles of young boys and girls.  And pray that they will live long happy lives.  That's all you can do now that 2016 is in the history books.

And not so by the way, thank you for reading my columns and blogs during this year now past.

Spoiled Sons and Daughters

In our land of milk and honey many still have a tough time just getting by. We also have a large number of spoiled sons and daughters.  I do not exclude myself.  Here's a recent example:

The parents of a young sergeant killed in action in Afghanistan were escorting his body home for burial. As the plane carrying the soldier's body pulled up to the ramp, the pilot came on the intercom asking passengers to remain in their seats for a moment while his casket was given over to an honor guard. Passengers in the first class section started booing at the delay.

What does this say about this group of Americans who could not take a few minutes to honor this youngster, one of our very own?

Serving in the armed forces is an honor. Perhaps one that is best seen in the rear mirror now that we do not have to get up at dawn to perform onerous tasks, let alone where some risk their very lives. Male military veterans make up 25% of our population, females 2%, including my prized daughter-in-law, Angelee, a Desert Storm Army veteran. Military service teaches many skills including leadership and team-building that directly translate to success in civilian life. Perhaps the greatest benefit of all is removing self-centered focus and replacing it with service to others.

This concept of service beyond self can be a huge factor at any time, but in this era where so many of us are divided it can be a godsend. I know individuals who devote a lot of time and effort to assisting those in need.  I'm sure you do too.  Peter Cognetti is one such.  A successful medical doctor, Peter continues to travel to Haiti to minister to those whom nature has delivered one body blow after another. Grim business indeed to those of us used to the good life. Yet in his case, and repeatedly in the experience of others helping others, he finds an overwhelming sense of fulfillment by doing God's work. The physical exhaustion and financial sacrifice just don't register on his radar.

This great country of ours was built on the blood, sweat and countless tears shed by good men and women who went before us, those who strive today and those who will follow long after we are gone. The common bond is a commitment to not let the other guy down. This is the real reason why we are and always will be the Great United States of America.

IT AIN'T OVER

“IT AIN'T OVER Until it's over” - an evergreen bit of advice from the late and baseball great Yogi Berra. The turmoil that marked the 2016 election isn't over by any means. 

Some people will disagree on anything, or everything. Still it's smart money to have a reality check on our emotions, particularly when the issues are big ones. The people have voted so we are in for a change. The Greek philosopher Heraclitus spoke the immortal line “the only thing that is constant is change” a long time ago, way before Yogi. Unlike Berra, he never played baseball but he too had this knack for delivering memorable quotes. Time for all hands to face reality. Donald Trump won the election.  In short time he will be in the Oval Office as our president. There is no wiggle room. He is my president and yours.

This brings to mind the story of when Bill Clinton moved into that Oval office in 1993. He found a handwritten note waiting for him from its prior occupant, George H. W. Bush. It was simple, and profound: “Dear Bill: You will be our president when you read this note.  I wish you well. I wish your family well.  Your success is our country's success. I am rooting for you.  /George.”

Those sentiments from one American to another American pretty well sum up my own position.

Your success is our country's success, Donald Trump.

Now, I too am rooting for you.                          

Honoring The Star Spangled Banner

The Protest of the Week actions by certain sports players and celebrities who kneel or otherwise rebel against paying traditional respect to our national anthem is beyond “stupid”, as Justice Ginsburg initially labeled it.  It is a disgrace to our flag, our nation and to We The People.

Certainly we are imperfect here in the United States. We are still a work in progress with a long way to go. But trading one injustice for another does not move things in a positive direction, particularly the shining cause of equality and justice for all. If there ever was an Original Sin for this country, it was slavery.  Anyone who knows history knows that slavery didn't start with America. But with our unparalleled promise and prosperity as a people we certainly ended up as the poster child for continued oppression. And prejudice, especially racial and religious bias, is the jewel in the Devil's crown.

There are millions and millions of Americans who are hungry and hurting today. There are millions more who are angry both with and without cause. If you were not here on our planet for the 2016 presidential campaign, take my word for it.  If you were here and awake, you know exactly what I am talking about. Divisive actions, words and gestures only deepen the divide. If there is an example for all of us it is our military, the men and women in uniform who have time and again placed their own bodies in harm's way to protect us. That defense line is made up of all sizes, shapes and, colors – white, black, brown, red, yellow skins and those who are combinations of the former.

Here's a math lesson for all who never knew or who have forgotten:   442.

The 442^nd Infantry Regiment of The United States Army served in World War Two. Read about it. 700 killed in action, 9500 Purple Hearts. The 442 was made up of Japanese American who were uprooted from their homes, rounded up, and forced into internment camps. Imagine US citizens being subjected to such outrage! Then the offer came to their young men for US Army service in the European theater.  Beyond outstanding, they became the most highly decorated unit in US military history. (Part of their outfit released the Jews at the notorious Dachau concentration camp.) When these warriors came back home they faced subtle and sometimes outright bias. Still they soldiered on. And so should we.

Disrespecting the National Anthem and our flag plays right into the hands of hatred. It's far worse than stupid.

Donald Trump

Politics and politicians are not normally on my “Must see, Must listen to, Must read” agendas. This year's election campaigning may not be a fair example of why I feel this way for there are many other reasons including near-terminal boredom. Still 2016 is such a staggering mess it has discouraged men and women all across the spectrum, including the most ardent disciples of our political process.

I come from a family of Republicans. As a kid, I can clearly remember my parents' dismay at Wendell Willkie's 1940 loss to Franklin Delano Roosevelt.  When I was old enough to register for voting I immediately did so. As I came back home that day, my mother and father, feigning casual interest, asked me how I signed up. I replied “Communist.” If you listen carefully, you may be able to hear the echo of Dear Dad's roar to this day. It was also an early indicator that my career path did not lead to stand-up comedy.           

No hero, I.  But at the same time my military service involved three years of my life dedicated to protecting our national cornerstone -, personal freedom and the privilege of voting. Now we are all witnessing the nadir of political activity in the Clinton-Trump campaigning. For starters, neither candidate attracts me.  As “T”, a close and respected friend, said to me about Hillary; “I wouldn't trust her as far as I could throw her'. I feel that way too. As for Trump, I believe he is certifiable, ready for a padded cell. His recently released comments on women I took as a direct assault on my mother, my wife, my daughters and the other female friends we hold dear. Unforgivable.

Some argue that principles underlying the philosophies of the Democrat and Republican platforms are bigger than any one man or woman standing as a candidate. Perhaps this is so. My very small collection of admired politicians includes the late (and surely great) Thomas Phillip “Tip” O'Neill who memorably said “all politics is local.”   I'll take that remark and apply it to the importance of candidates on the “under card” here in Florida. We have critical offices to be filled this election cycle.  

On the national scene however, the people of this great country deserve better than the two presidential candidates we have been offered this time round.  That's the biggest history lesson of all from 2016.