10 S N E 1

Early in his Broadway stage career Humphrey Bogart was cast in drawing room comedies, usually as second juvenile. In one of these he spoke the immortal line “Tennis, anyone?”  Generations of bon vivants and lesser souls have echoed that line on and off the court ever since. One blonde in Connecticut had “10 S N E 1” as her license plate. 

Which brings us round to the French Open in Paris, one of the truly great settings for this much admired sport. 2013 play on that infamous red clay was extraordinary by anyone's standards. Yet a very real danger hangs over the head of this masterpiece. It has nothing to do with the red clay and the generally unfavorable weather sans roof. Certainly no blame can be laid on the shoulders of the players. It has everything to do with the chattering American television commentators. And part of this has to do with our national tendency to talk a lot more and listen a lot less. European broadcasters tend to let play speak for itself, not so for those of us on this side of the pond. 

This time out John McEnroe, Mary Carillo and Ted Robinson were at it again.  McEnroe truly knows the game and the nuances of same.  Yes, he would be better off by putting the lid on his “bad boy” days. Realistically the best we can hope for is that he minimizes recalling his own mischievous antics. Mary Carillo becomes less likeable with every outing. She is constitutionally incapable of shutting up. Ted Robinson, playing the role of Ed McMahon to McEnroe as Johnny Carson, spends most of his time feeding John opportunities to talk about what he did in the long ago. This year Ted got so gushy it was a better deal to turn down the sound. 

And it was certainly a better deal to turn the sound OFF when Maria Saharipova and Victoira Azarenka shrieked with every shot. They set a decibel high that will remain unmatched for the ages. They are both gifted athletes and selective commentary would help television viewers enjoy their play. But who can handle the headaches? 

The next French Open will probably be 10 S N E minus this 1.

Dating

Years ago my high school pal Chuck Barris created a show for television called “The Dating Game'. Barris' format for the program was basically simple. But then again dating itself was basically simple a half century ago.

Fast forward to dating in the year 2013 where both life and love have grown more complicated. Don't despair however, the outlook is not all doom and gloom. As long as you can access the Internet, adventure is right at the end of your finger tips with countless opportunities to link up. Dating services are a huge portion of TV advertising featuring tailored categories for one and all.  eHarmony is big here as elsewhere but if you want to target a specific demographic group there's no problem. We have Christian Mingle, our Jewish friends can access J Date, the list includes Black People Meet, Asian Dating, Amigos, Gay Dating, Seniors Dating (not to be confused with “Our Time for Singles over 50” or “Professional Singles over 40”. )

While my roommate and I have zilch interest in dating ourselves, we do have an array of eligible sons and daughters, grandsons and granddaughters on the active bachelor/bachelorette rosters. So as senior consultants it's prudent for us to stay current on people-meeting-people. The very thought of our Loved Ones constantly prowling the bars in search of Mr/Ms Right is a depressing thought for us as well as for them. Dating services are not infallible but they do provide a certain sense of controlling one's own destiny. Now you can have more going for you than just Aunt Marion's word that “she has a lot of personality” or your teammate at work saying that “he's more than your average computer guy.”

Still, at least for us, it's certainly better to be observing rather than playing today's dating game.                                

Sharks

“Shark Tank” is a successful television show that counts my dear wife among its ardent viewers. The program's format pits an entrepreneur looking for financial backing against a panel of four businesspeople who have cash to lend IF they are impressed with the pitch. On any given evening it is even more exciting than “The Bachelor”.

Ever since “Jaws” swam towards us from the movie screens in 1976, I've had an aversion to being in any water where sharks may be on the prowl. Because this certainly includes my present abode in sunny Florida, it seemed prudent to read up on sharks and how they operate. Recent television newscasts showing thousands and thousands of them migrating close by our shoreline was an added incentive.

Conventional wisdom is that sharks in these waters are “spinners” or “black tips” and not a threat to swimmers. Authorities have the stats from 1882 to this year proving that no one has been killed down here by a shark. Bitten or nipped yes, but not killed. This data is but marginal comfort to me.

In the land-based marketplaces where you earn your paycheck, there are also sharks. Learn about them. Here too they may not kill you outright but they can still nip and bruise you. What is their M.O.?  How do they maneuver within the company or outside with clients? You can tell a lot by observing their body language and how they relate to others.

It's always best to keep your eyes and ears open when you're in the water. And in the meetings too.

Leadership

We all know what makes a good leader. Right? Well, maybe yes or maybe no. 

Books written about leaders and leadership are all over the lot. On top of that, many of us have gone through “leadership schools” during military time or in the corporate world – some have experienced both disciplines. In every case personal communications is the foundation of leadership. Beyond broad principles let me suggest that the devil is in the details. We too often overlook the basics because we assume that we already know them and worse, think we consistently practice them. 

Let's review the things that are important to others – that is, to the men and women you are hoping will follow your lead. 

At first glance what we see dominates. The man or woman in a leadership role has to look the part by being well-groomed and well-mannered. The setting for your talks is an important influence of course, but your own unique style and good manners will dominate. So be your own best self. What appeals to their eye is simultaneously impacted by the sound of your spoken word. That voice has to project confidence. There is no one single way to dress or to speak so that others will listen. Effective communications combinations are endless. While you may not know exactly how a leader will be looking or sounding at any given time, you know the sight and sound of leadership when you see and hear it; so does your audience be it one or many. 

Now comes the key ingredient – a well thought out, properly rehearsed message. At ALL times your listeners are asking themselves “what's in it for me?” This is where Barbara Szala and the In-Person Communications professional staff can assist you in determining your own best personal style and approach as you convey important messages. Trust me, they know what they are doing and have assisted leaders a thousand and more times. Most importantly, they are light years ahead in objectivity from those you work with or the permanently-puckered lips of assistants on your payroll. In-Person Communications professionals have only one mission – to help you attain your objective. 

The next time you have to go into the lion's den, plan ahead. In-Person Communications is just a phone call (201 664-1955) or a click away (www.in-personcommunications.com).

Florida in February

In addition to easy access for fantastic prices on oranges and grapefruit, Florida in February is certainly the place to be. (Whoops, sorry, by now most of you have already heard this a thousand times.)

Nonetheless the saying “there's no free lunch” applies even down here in the Land of Eternal Sun. A classic example is the “Early Bird Special” (EBS) which roughly means that right after breakfast you start getting ready for dinner. EBS menus have customer-friendly dinner prices that knock off a buck or two from the meals in order to lure in those of us on Social Security. “Having cocktails” has become an evergreen all around the country and most certainly is a fixture down here where the bar bill gobbles up what few dollars are saved on EBS, plus, plus. 

When the sun goes down most of us retreat to our little hideaways to turn on our television sets to check the weather up north. Schadenfreude kicks in for a few minutes followed by hours of gloom because television series re-runs dominate the airwaves. It could be far worse of course since most of the new prime time viewing is simply terrible. Re-runs of oldies are generally the best of what used to be better.  And still is. 

Florida is often derided as “Heaven's Waiting Room” because so many of us are senior-seniors.  So be it.  Most of our old gang on the upper side of the Mason-Dixon line are also senior-seniors living in retirement homes afraid to go out because of bone chilling cold. At least down here the nurses have suntans. 

With all the talk of Health Care in Washington, D.C., we Floridians share the perspective that television has the answer for most ailments. Products for every conceivable sickness flash by our eyes night after night. Especially if you are suffering from erectile dysfunction which some say make up 40% (others say 80%) of the TV commercials. 

Hang in, dear reader, for eventually Spring and then Summer will come your way. And then, when Florida becomes a white hot furnace for us, you may well have The Last Laugh as you bask in your glorious weather. 

                                                               Best,

                                                                       Charles

Slaughter of the Innocents

The Gospel writer Matthew (2:16-18) refers to King Herod and his order to kill all male infants age 2 and under living in and around the town of Bethlehem. He had been told that a rival king had just been born there. Jesus survived the horror only because his parents took him to Egypt and away from the scene of the massacre. That infamous tragedy has haunted the civilized world for over two thousand years.

While Herod and Bethlehem seem long ago and far away to those of us living in America today, the horror we felt when reports came in from Connecticut is exactly the same. (Perhaps even more so in our case because we have grandkids living just down the road from Newtown.)  Surely parents of the 20 little boys and girls who were gunned down by a mentally ill 20 year old would have escaped with their loved ones if it had been possible for them to do so.  Oceans of ink have been poured into reporting on this disaster and even more will be written in the days and weeks ahead about what can be done to prevent another bloodbath. But with all this said we still have to express our point of view and design a game plan of our own.

My first step is to check with local school authorities to make sure they are at the top of their game by reviewing whatever security systems are already in place. And yes, we should all learn more about mental illness and how to recognize danger signs. But most of all we should lean on our elected officials to tell them they MUST support commonsense national legislation to actually DO something about the scandalous gun madness here in our United States of America.

Dying for You

Mikado Bragg, was a long long way from her hometown of Longview, Washington, when she left us at 21.  Matthew Abbate, a son of Hawaii passed away at 26.  “Left us” and “passed away” do not do justice to these young people. They were taken from us. They died for me. They died for you.

Scrawled on a wall of a bullet-ridden hovel in a godforsaken zone out in nowhere there is a stark message.  It reads, “The Marines are on the front line; America is at the mall.” It's true, you know.

In earlier times young men were drafted into military service.  We had no choice. Nowadays men and women volunteer to wear the uniform and thus put themselves in harm's way by choice. Some see this as a “you asked for it” reason to distance themselves from military people. On top of that many American citizens simply do not have a clue what “freedom isn't free” is all about.

War is beyond Hell. Those of us who study military history are repeatedly staggered at the terrible cost in human life and lifelong damage to the spirits of their survivors. During World War One on the very first day of the Battle of the Somme, when Great Britain opened a massive offensive against entrenched Germans, the British casualties alone were in excess of 60,000 soldiers!

That bloodletting battle and so many others are simply incomprehensible to us, so we more or less push them aside. Individual deaths in the line of duty however have greater impact on most of us. But not all.

Corporal Brock Bucklin was one of our own killed in action. His twin brother, Corporal Brad Bucklin, escorted Brock's body back from Iraq on a commercial airline. As their plane taxied to the gate the flight’s captain came on the intercom and told the passengers, “Ladies and gentlemen, we have an American hero on board with us tonight. As a sign of respect please remain seated while we honor Corporal Bucklin and his sacrifice.”

The few moments of delay where Brad Bucklin could escort his brother's remains to a waiting family were lost forever because half of the passengers on the plane got off anyway.

No doubt they were rushing to the mall.